One by one, we all recounted the erotic influences on our girlhood.

Some were mainstream, mostly purloined from older sisters or aunts, like Jean Auel, V.C. Andrews, or romance novels. Other women were influenced by more explicit stuff: Happy Hooker advice books, or the occasional nudie magazine.

Surprisingly, one woman confessed that when she was a girl, her favorite masturbatory material was the Female and Male Sexual Response tapes from the local hospital's medical information hotline. She would call up, request tape #453, and settle back for four minutes of hot INFO action!

The discussion set me thinking about my own quest for sexual information. I remember in third grade two friends and I formed "The Period Club" (P.C. to the uninformed). Our goal was to find out what a period was. Four meetings later, we successfully disbanded after Katie found out "for sure" that it meant you got hair under your arms. Looking back, I should have asked her for references.

My dad, a minister, used to keep a copy of Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex But Were Afraid to Ask in his office, presumably as a reference for concerned parishioners who came to him with sexual concerns. When I was ten, I couldn't get enough of it! I think it was intended to be an educational text of sorts, but all I remember are lurid stories of objects lodged into anal cavities that resulted in the need for medical attention. Shot glasses, beer bottles, light bulbs-maybe the book had more to offer, but it's telling that all I can remember, twenty-some years later, is a list of objects people put up their asses and couldn't get out.

One afternoon in fifth grade, FINALLY some direct information! The school nurse invited our class to anonymously write down any sex question we had. (Years later, teaching sex ed in urban high schools in the late 90s, I used the anonymous question technique. I got a lot of: "If someone injected AIDS in your finger, but then you cut your arm off REALLY, REALLY FAST, would you still get sick?") Thanks to Judy Blume, I had a bigger vocabulary than I knew what to do with, but still no real info. So I wrote: "what is masturbation?" I knew it was sort of sex, but that was it. I was hoping for details, drawings, perhaps a basic how-to. I can't recall any of the other questions, probably the typical how-big-is-the-average-penis kinds of inquiries. We went along, until the nurse paused.

"Someone in here wants to know what… 'masturbation' is." The room erupted into hysterical, nervous laughter. Everyone looked around to figure out who the culprit/pervert could be.

"Ohmigawd who wrote that?!" I chimed in. (My mama didn't raise no fools.) She then asked that the person who wrote the question COME TO HER OFFICE at the end of the day, and she would provide a private answer, "because this really is not appropriate for today's topic." For weeks, it didn't matter how sick you were or how much you were bleeding, no kid from Mrs. Schrag's class dared venture near the nurse's office for any medical help. You sucked it up, held the limb on and waited for the bell to ring.

Years later, Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders was also sent to the office for raising the topic of masturbation, demonstrating beautifully how people are punished for speakingy and unapologetically about healthy sexuality. Well, I managed to physically survive the school year, and eventually I did figure out what masturbation is. You'll never guess!!!

This column will use personal narratives to highlight aspects of sexuality development throughout the life span. The views reflected here are probably distorted by political cynicism and too much television, as are yours.

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